My anxiety spikes on my days off. I think it has something to do with the lack of structure a “day off” has and forces me to rely on self-discipline I’ve really never developed to begin with.
I look forward to doing nothing on my days off but when the day arrives I am stressed about how to spend such a luxury that I am paralyzed with indecision. Do I take my bike for a ride? Should I do a load of laundry? Reorganize my cardboard box of a nightstand? Return my library books? Make that call to my landlord that I’ve been putting off. There’s never a shortage of things that need to be done on your “day off”.
You would think that if I planned these things out it would help but nothing makes me procrastinate more than having plans on a day because I will do absolutely nothing that day so that I’m well-rested and prepared for said plans. I guess its kind of like not eating all day on Thanksgiving so you don’t ruin your appetite for the big meal.
For example, Tuesdays my coworkers and I like to get together for Taco Tuesday. If I have the day off, I’ll sleep in, wake up at noon. Not eat because I don’t want to ruin my appetite. Go to Taco Tuesday and come home at 8 just in time to go to bed for work the next day.
Why am I like this? I don’t know. When I reflect back on times in my life that I loved cooking and I loved cleaning the house and other things that exleplify the idea that I had my shit together, really I was doing one thing to avoid another. For example, I loved baking all throughout nursing school, and for some reason, during finals week I would –for some reason–get a spark of inspiration to clean my house from top to bottom.
Now that I’ve graduated school and have (thankfully) one, full-time job, I struggle to figure out what to do when I’m not at work because there are no counterforces making me avoid something by doing something else.
What motivates you to complete those things that you avoid on your to-do list?
